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Your Stories: Jenni Harris - A Grandmother Reflects...

Updated: Jun 10, 2020

a mother holds her children

in ways that are deeply felt, remembered and known

as previous generations held, safeguarded and nurtured their young

I held mine

listened to mine

from loving conception

belly holding the unborn

forming babies enveloped in embryonic fluid

birth canal pulsing

welcomed with as much love as possible

in the moments from birth onwards


babe enfolded by arms

cradled to the breast

shrouded in a shawl of my 

hopes and prayers


over the years

they ran, they laughed, they fell

over and over, they fell

they cried

we picked them up

we held them with a sheltering arm

we quelled the hurt

they were soothed

we let them go


and now as I forage in the murky battlefield of my personal failures

I realise it was I who also repeatedly stumbled and fell

it was also I who oftentimes failed them

when my own weary broken arms

forgot how, when, to hold

it is I who is now held by them, in forgiveness and grace, I hope

and still I fall and fail


and who holds the heart of the mother, or the father 

the grandmother, the grandfather

as we recall our negligence and our own injuries 

and when our children, our grandchildren are bruised

our own heart, and our wound,

feels the anguish  


invisible forces

surgically unfasten our heart

from our body 

and place it now in the open

exposed, raw, vulnerable

feeling all movements

all delicate flutters

of celebration and joy

love beyond love 

and once more, struggles


as the pain of their suffering breaks us open again and again 

we pray

that the one who bends to listen  

will embrace us

embrace them 

in loving and compassionate awareness


spellbound by our children’s lives

by their loves

by their beautiful partners 

we try to offer reassurance

and we declare in our own shaking hearts 

that we will hold them, their partners

through the arrows and hurts

sheltering the quivering heart

the uncertain thresholds

we will be there 

holding space, acknowledging

letting go

loosening the hold

close by or at a distance


as grandmothers, as grandfathers

some, ancestors now 

elders

we engender the intimacy of love,

of timeless wisdom of generations before us

when we hold and witness these descendants

we are simultaneously touched and held ourselves


we can connect with them by the quality and sound of our voice

the choice of our words

our steadfast resolve

our soft gaze

received knowingly

and unknowingly


as mother, as grandmother, as bumbling amateur

I offer myself

to my kindred 

to those on earth and other places

that my arms

my heart

my eyes

will listen, as best I can, beneath the stories in their bones 


that they will be received and loved 

so that they know in their bones what to offer to their own children

and in so doing, give them the most sacred gift -

to learn their place in the universe

that they are accepted,

acceptable, more than enough

that they are loved

that they are love


not only are they nourished

but that love ripples outwards 

in the continuity of life

an oracle onwards towards future generations


when we hold our children, our grandchildren

we begin to instil an elixir of courage, dignity, trust, comfort and strength

by our stroking, our loving presence, much can be healed


we once held them with our trembling arms

we let go

we loosen the grasp

we surrendered them to their own lives, to the greater world

but we equally hold them now and forever within our own tender hearts


and we will listen, hold, let go… yet eternally embrace

for spacious holding is listening and loving beneath the bones 

for holding is healing

letting go is grace

and so we celebrate the power of connection

and we celebrate the power of holding, with grace


Dedicated to Luca ~

Jenni Harris

May 31 2020


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