Dear 2020 Baby,
You have been born during a global pandemic. Something we did not even know was going to happen when we first found out about you.
Giving birth to a second child during lockdown 2.0 in Melbourne was a different experience than the first. However, the quietness of lockdown gave us the time to settle you into our family and create a new routine.
From the moment you were born you were loved. For the first six weeks of your life, you knew of only mum, dad, your brother, and Nanna. You were adored by those outside our 5kms radius via text messages and zoom calls.
As I hold you in my arms, I am surprised how different you are from your brother. They say that every baby comes out is different but even though you look like your brother, you are different in so many ways. One of the key differences is how you like to be held and cuddled. And you, baby, are a cuddle machine who always wants to be held upright to see what is going on.
There is something about a newborn baby. Babies are a lot of work and this whole phase is a bit of a blur that I know I will forget. My body had not forgotten how to look after a newborn baby though. Looking after a second baby is instinctual as you do not have the doubts and worry like you do with your first. It is a delight to care for you and now you can smile back at me, the long nights are worth it.
Post-lockdown you loved to get out and meet everyone. You got used to a life of masked people and the smell of hand sanitiser. You feel the cuddles of those who have loved you from a distance. You meet and connect with your larger family and other babies born around the same time that will grow up to be your friends. Your future is more unknown now than it ever was even though you were born into a postcode that will dictate much of your future.
Those who have had children effortlessly pick you up and strut around with you. They will be the ones that feed you a bottle and give you back to me when you have done a poo – claiming they have done their time changing nappies. Those who have not had children hold you delicately and unsurely but with love and tenderness. No matter who holds you, your smell and endorphins hit them every time and this reminds them that even in the darkest of time, there is love and warmth in this world.
A fellow mother on a playdate comments that you are always in the same position when we catch up. You are always over my left shoulder, always connected to my heartbeat. This is the safest place in the world for you now and always. As you grow in height and weight, I wonder how long we can maintain this same position. I know how I hold you and cuddle you will change, but I hope our connectedness never does.
Daddy and I shared all the holding and caring for your brother as we only had him, it was so new and novel. This time, I do more of the cuddling and holding of you as Daddy runs around after your brother. I am the one who keeps you on your schedule and sleep routine. In return, you yearn for me, your mother, and will do anything to get picked up and held by me.
As you grow, you will hear about the year 2020 that you were born in and I hope you remember how special that is. You have been born in a year the world has changed. We hope that you, the little girl we brought into this world, are tough, resilient, and strong in this ever changing world. We have all learned a lot this year, but I think you, our 2020 baby, have taught us the most. You have taught us that even in the hardest times there is a lot for us to be grateful for. That good things do come at the right time and you are the best thing.
Love Mum,
January 2021
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