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This is a space for sharing and learning about our experiences of holding our children. There is the immediately familiar experience of holding an infant but holding extends through our children’s lifetimes from toddlerhood to adulthood. Holding is not only carrying or rocking to sleep, it includes cuddles, hugs, an arm around our child, a touch on their hand or knee as well as emotional and psychological holding built upon that history of affectionate touch. And holding our child as we both develop will have similarities and differences from the holding that has gone on before. This is why you’re welcome to make as many submissions as you like, in an anonymous manner, to share the many kinds of holding you experience over time.

 

While I have emphasised mother’s experiences of holding, I invite all caregivers to read about and share their experiences. This includes all primary caregivers irrespective of gender. Where mothering is experienced is where holding happens. 

 

And finally, when I invite you to share your stories the content and length are entirely up to you. You might write a sentence or two or a longer piece about how holding feels in general, in the good times, the harder times, with your baby or your adult child. You might describe feelings or thoughts, sensations or imagery that arise for you when you hold or relate a very specific moment of holding you recall from this morning or decades ago. All of these stories are valuable and important and develop our understanding of the many qualities of holding in a deeper and potentially beneficial way. There is also value in recording moments of holding and affection, it helps consolidate important memories and stories.

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About Me

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What I've discovered is that noticing moments of connection strengthen our relationships over time. The more deeply relational experiences of holding we can gather close, the easier it is to get through the hard times inevitable in any mother/child bond.  

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I experienced post-natal anxiety and depression. Therapy, my partner, my child and medication all helped. So did one other surprisingly simple act: holding my son.

 

As part of my healing process, I attended a weekly arts-therapy mothers’ group with my child and was introduced to this easy but powerful approach. With a background in psychology, I eventually went on to formally inquire into mother’s experiences of holding their children, and gained a doctorate in Therapeutic Arts Practice (The MIECAT Institute). I am a registered creative arts therapist in private practice, an academic teacher and doctoral supervisor at The MIECAT Institute, an author, artist, researcher and a Professional Member of ANZACATA. I am also a member of AAIMH (Australian Association for Infant Mental Health). Please go to my Individual and Group Therapy page if you would like to discuss an appointment. 

 

In my doctoral research, participants and I found that holding our children was a primary way of showing and feeling love and in particular, positive holding experiences appeared to strengthen and support the mother/child relationship.  

 

I want to share what we have learned so far with others but am also incredibly excited to hear about (or see) what holding is like for you. I hope to create a supportive space where we can share our experiences and learn together.

 

As we build our understanding of holding, we create opportunities for our relationships with our children to thrive.